How Did I Get Here?

Isn't that the million dollar question? How do we get where we are? For me, there are many contributing factors which are no worse than anyone elses. By no means did I have a horrible childhood. I know that there are so many people out there who have it worse. But even though I know this, I still can't seem to snap out of it. So for the HISTORY of me: I was the over achiever as a child. For the most part, I was a good kid. No behavioral problems, no staying out too late, no back talking. My mom had it easy with me. I was the responsible child of two. My parents divorced at a young age and for my only younger sister and me- I played a very parental role since my mom worked the evening shift to support us. We had a very humble upbringing. We were not financially wealthy at all. It was always my sister and me. My goal was to be the best, most perfect kid. I worked hard in school, was the teenager who had no curfew because she knew that I was not doing anything wrong. SURPRISE, I never drank alcohol and even refused to curse until I got out of high school. My grades excelled and I was the first person in my large extended family to go to college and finish.

Oh, did I mention- I grew up in a very small town in the South. A very important factor in this equation. The Bible Belt. I was very close with my religious grandmother who praised me all during my childhood for my creativity, sensitivity and interest in things that most people around me didnt even know about. I loved my grandmother very much and she was my second mother.
My Dad is the great hunter and, not meant in a rude way- a Redneck. He was a man of few words. You could almost bet that if it was something he loved, I probably hated it. Working on cars, hunting, guns, smoking cigarettes. I wanted nothing to do with it. I definitely wasnt the son that he expected and he knew at an early age that I was different. My sport of choice was gymnastics which he had never heard of, my hunting of choice was for a new outfit for school, I was more interested in putting on plays and watching movies than shooting animals for sport. I wanted to do well in school and I remember specifically him telling me "I dont know why you even try that hard, you are just going to be working in a factory like me" This caused quite a bit of confusion on his part I am sure. He didnt get me and I didnt get him. He is not a bad man, only knows what he has been taught and I know that he tried to love me the best he knew.

My grandmother's sister was the coolest person I knew. She had been to college for a short time and lived in the "big" city. She was progressive. She was saavy to the new pop music, drove a nice car and was the classiest person I knew. She never had children so my sister and I became her surrogate children. She took us to the nicest shopping malls, introduced us to literature, and took us to our first musical plays. We spent alot of time with her and loved every minute of it. She introduced me to a life that I knew had to be out there.

So let's sum it up.. Parents divorced young. The influential people in my life: my grandmother, my grandmother's sister, my mom's sister, and even my great grandmother, my mother and my sister-more on them later. Yea, so all women. So not to get too antibiographical, but there is a summary of the family component.